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Bill Clinton

JESUS CHRIST IN ARKANSAS

There was once a giant Jesus who walked the hills of the Ozarks near Eureka Springs.

I witnessed this grand event, and have lived to tell about it. You can, too. It was Tammy Faye who told me about this monstrous thing, which was constucted for the movie Attack of the Giant Jesus, a film never released because Southern Baptists deemed the project too profane. But no one ever really saw the movie.

Some of the footage was used in Orson Welles' unfinished epic about the life of Don Quixote. He had intended to film Quixote battling the Giant Jesus in the way same way he fought the windmill, but the winds in the Ozarks were too strong the day Welles filmed. Two months ago there had been some clips posted on YouTube of the scene, but it's gone now, so I can't post it.

Anyway, in both films, the twist is that Jesus wins, but not in any kind of violent massacre. The attackers and Quixote are simply invited to come with Jesus to Hot Springs, Arkansas, where they meet with Bill Clinton and everyone has a hot bath together.

Doughnuts are served to one and all!

This thing - what I consider

This thing - what I consider to be the ugliest statue of Christ ever - really DID appear in the film "Pass the Amm0", written by the Cohen Brothers and starring Tim Curry, Annie Potts, and Bill Paxton ... not much better than the statue.