Pachuco Cadaver

1. Look, I've always wanted a good reason for letting Paris Hilton into my heart.

2. Her hands are not perfect (read claw hand).

3. Any Captain Beefheart publicity is good publicity (even hoax publicity___ I'll take it if only for that one shining moment when I thought it could be true). See Number 6.

4. That red barrette---hair thing. I think my little sister had a set of those. If it's part of some designer line of accessories, I'll be crushed.

5. Strike the last part of 4, I'll take half a dozen.

6. It brings out the Candide in me. No seriously, this is how I picture Cunegonde.

7. Fast and bulbous, got me?

8. She's wearing Mike Nelson's watch.

9. Oh maid, if only I knew what causeth thou to smile so!

10. I'm booglarized. I'm just sayin'.