Black Oak Arkansas: Raunch'n'Roll
THE SORTA people who listen to Black Oak Arkansas are about the closest things to teenage Frankensteins in existence. They hide out in the hills of Tennessee and the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia, and about the only other music they play is junk like Z.Z. Top or Chicken Shack. Their parents lock 'em in their rooms along with their black lites and beer can collections, and the only time they ever come out is to rehaul their transmission or watch Slingshit Theater. In short, they represent the southern hi-energy worthless skums, fucked up on qualuudes with rotten teeth jostling around in their head.
So outta this sub-rubadubdub-kulture springs the likes of such bestial creeps like this group. And it's enuf to make a normal platter collector cringe in embarrassment – I mean, these guys is the worst mob of droolers ever immortalized in plastic. Don't listen to critical whiz asses who say that this group is the NEXT ROLLING STONES because they ain't. Nope, you dumbshits, BLACK OAK ARKANSAS IS THE NEXT MC5!!!
Now that ain't really apparent from simply listening to this live rustling cuz this is just a mess of beans, combining the impromptu chatter of Lord Sutch and the spastic sputter of Joe Cocksucker and the hysterics of Kim Fowley and Monti Rock, but there's no genuine taste of hard-core bimbamboom energy music. Mostly they just mess around and do tasteless stuff like the following (all of which can be heard on this fine disc):
1. Jim Dandy (the next Noddy Holder) rams a bean up his asshole and recites graffiti
2. There's a scrub board solo which sounds like the Godz scraping the bottom of the barrel
3. Harvey Jett does a Leigh Stephens imitation
4. They kill this obnoxious brat in the audience who keeps shouting, "Boogie, you slime shitters!"
Plus they do this amazing song called 'Hot Rod' which has gotta be the filthiest song ever recorded. You can even imagine Jim Dandy's prick vibrating like an oily eel as he pukes his words and drains his very soul until he's a dried huncher. In fact, it's the most exciting song ever recorded live anywhere at any time on any label by any group.
The group does all their other standards like 'Hot 'n' Nasty' and 'When Electricity Came to Arkansas', but none of em swell and snarl as much as 'Hot Rod'. But that still don't keep it from being the best rock'n'roll album of all time. I really mean that. Don't give me none of that shit about how great the first MC5 record is or even the Allman Bros. either. This record is ten times as exciting.
The main reason for this is that Jim Dandy feels obligated to preach to his audience so he goes into these lengthy spews which are just hysterical. For instance, before 'Mutants of The Monster', he chops out something with crackers in his mouth, and it comes out like this:
Yeah you know our generation basically consists of you and I, and we are misfits of mankind.
Yes, cuz mankind has lost its mind which we freax have been desperately trying to find.
And tho they strove and they're stronger, they simply ended up being a monster.
So since in the form of our fathers, I guess, we're just mutants of this here monster.
Then the whole group starts growling at ya, and it's kind hard not to piss in yer pants.
Hell not even the kids who read CREEM MAGAZINE are as dumb as Black Oak Arkansas.
© Robot A. Hull, 1973